Diana Holquist writer. mother. cat lover. (not necessarily in that order)

How one family fought the myth that you have to destroy childhood in order to raise extraordinary adults.

What does a “successful” child look like?

If you imagined a straight-A-earning, classical-music-playing, rule-following, Ivy-bound prodigy, you’re not alone.

This is what I thought what my kid should look like, too. I was determined to raise my child in this image, no matter the cost. After all, I was one of those kids (Columbia University, Class of 1989). The traditional path to success sure worked for me.

I was a Tiger Mother.

But then life intervened in ways I couldn’t have imagined. I was faced with two choices: impose my will no matter the trauma. Or, take a frightening, uncharted path—

—to where?

A sub-standard child, unable to succeed on the level I had?

Did letting up mean letting my child down?

Answering these questions took my family on a fascinating journey. What looked and felt like failure after failure on adult terms led to a different kind of success: mad creativity, fierce independence, and relentless self-direction.

In other words, everything an adult needs to make it in today’s world.

So what does a successful child look like?

She looks like my child. And if you consider a similar path by relaxing, backing off, letting up, and settling down, she (or he) just might look a lot like yours.

Click here for an excerpt.